A Love Before Time
by Shadow Sanctuary
Summary: In the center of ethereal mists and heaven's light, Yami Bakura visits the only archangel he would ever associate himself with. ~Epilogue is up, so don't miss the heartfelt conclusion to this tale!
1. Default Chapter

Author's Note: Yami Bakura finds difficulty in living his life on a day to day basis since he insists on being anti-social and thrives off of being sociopathic. When Ryou follows him out on a rainy night in December, he discovers the millennium spirit's true nature. Be prepared to witness the softer side of Yami Bakura as he recounts the details of a special night that Ryou helped him to create.

Disclaimer: First person story told from Yami Bakura's POV. Yaoi between Yami Bakura and Ryou. Romantic angst. Some bad language, but it's not that bad. Both of the characters cause each other mental anguish. Since this fic portrays Yami Bakura as being emotional, I'd say that he's slightly OOC. Other than that, this is an engaging song fic that features Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon's theme song, "A Love Before Time" in italics.

Chapter One: When My North Star Died

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/If the sky opened up for me, and the mountains disappeared. If the seas run dry, turn to dust, and the sun refused to rise./

All I can see is his face. More specifically, it is the only thing I want to see these days. Those passive emerald eyes and small serene smile encompassed by fair flesh is enough to make my heart ache. My dreams even possess the high honor of having him reside in them, prancing about the corners of my mind like a carefree fairy. I could imagine such a vision of loveliness quite vividly: the apple of my eye skipping around in a flower field, his lengthy silver tresses bouncing off his back as he scanned the meadow for a pretty daisy to wear. Alas, that is as close as I can get to the spirited sprite, for I'm only able to establish contact with him in my mind. The child I so desperately sought to love and care for had breached the gap between life and death, bounding off into the endless realm of eternity.

Bakura Ryou, the innocent hikari form of myself, had just recently left my side. His terminated existence came as a tremendous shock to me, for the tiny teenager was all I had on Earth. While everyone else that crossed my path reviled my very presence, Ryou accepted me for who I was and what I was about. Welcoming me into his loving arms, the gentle adolescent seemed to want to take up the task of protecting me. I was taken aback by such a warm gesture of affection, perplexed that a mere child wished for nothing more than to be my divine defender. Imagine that, a sweet little boy coming to the rescue of a creature like me that is so many centuries old that I've lost count. To be perfectly honest, I never truly thought of myself as human. Those beings were so complex with such a wide range of emotions, feelings that determined their disposition on a daily basis. They believed in miracles, ever-lasting happiness, and the magic of romance. When it came to matters of the heart, I was truly lost in its overwhelming currents. Relationships simply didn't fit into my personal schema of what my objectives were in life, so I ended up discarding them…until I entered into Ryou's realm, that is. 

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/I would still find my way by that light I see in your eyes./

He was somehow able to break through all of the steel barriers I put in place for anyone who dared to get in my way. No one had ever attempted such a radical action, for I was responsible for delivering harsh consequences to those who tried my patience. How was it possible that the green-eyed boy was able to tear down my strongest defenses? Why did I so willingly give myself to someone who was just a mortal that would die and leave me behind someday? It took months of the silvery-haired adolescent's constant pursuing before I finally realized why partnerships were worthwhile. What he did two years ago made me understand the value of abstract concepts like love, and how difficult it would be for me to face the fact that I would be forced to say good-bye to him someday…


	2. One Shining Light Still Remains

Chapter Two: One Shining Light Remains

/The world I know fades away but you would stay./

The heavens seemed angry that day, heavy torrents of rain brutalized my back as I wandered about in the streets. Such strange behavior was expected of me, for I had nowhere to go and no one to do anything with. At the time, I really couldn't care less if I was by myself anyways. Thin clothes stuck to my skin as waves of water continued to pour out of the sky. If the gods truly did exist, they seemed determined to display their exalted power over me. Either that, or they may have been attempting to punish me for all of the heinous crimes I had committed previously. Whatever the creators felt like doing was fine by me, but they should realize that no amount of violence would ever make me back down. After all, I endorsed sadistic actions, so large amounts of pain highly appealed to me.

Trudging up to the beginning of Trinity Street, I gazed vacantly into the night. Due to the threat of flash flooding, the moon and stars chose to conceal themselves somewhere else in the galaxy. Darkness prevailed above me, but not around me. Almost every house on the block was glowing with some sort of holiday decorations, as if the residents were competing to see who would own the brightest home in the town. Twinkling lights of various colors accented windows, car ports, and even the sidewalks beside me. Despising the crazy Christmas spirit I was in the center of, I walked on the asphalt to avoid it. Nothing bothered me more than this particular season, where the malls were jam packed with clueless shoppers who had no idea what they were there for. Besides that, people seemed obsessed with legends of talking snowmen and flying reindeer. Fairytales were instantly discarded from my memory, since I considered them to be complete nonsense that even children shouldn't be allowed to hear. Why would any parent want to infect their children with well-developed lies? Then again, why even take the time to raise a pack of rambunctious brats? Contemplating the answers to those questions, I didn't even notice that someone was right in front of me.

Splashing through the suburban area in deep thought, I barely felt my body push aside whoever was blocking my way. Matter of fact, I would have kept going if I hadn't heard a voice begging me to pause in my tracks.

"Please wait for me." someone pleaded in back of me.

Somewhat surprised that I was being followed, I stopped where I was. Peering over my shoulder, I was greeted by the sight of a rain-slicked Ryou, drenched from head to toe. Gazing at me intensely, the petite child shivered in the cold. His arms were wrapped tightly around his tiny frame, a feeble attempt in trying to generate heat within himself. I knew that his structure just didn't fare well in extreme temperatures, but he didn't seem to mind the bad weather that much. I felt a twinge of sorrow for him, since he obviously didn't think about the consequences of playing in a potential hail storm.

Regarding him with a steely gaze, I asked, "Don't kids in this place have a ten o' clock curfew?"

Giving me a delicate smile, the green-eyed boy responded with a question of his own. "Then what are you doing out here, Yami?"

"I am older than you by hundreds of years, child." I snapped, my eyes never leaving his face. "I can do as I damn well please."

"True enough." agreed the trembling adolescent, squinting through the rain at me. "But police officials here don't know that. They'll think you're just some fifteen year old teenager not complying with the law. Take care out here," he warned, his silvery tresses plastering themselves to his cheeks, "if you get caught, they may want to make en example out of you."

That single statement made me laugh out loud. "Really, Ryou? Do you truly believe I'd let anyone near me, much less touch me? You know what happens when people get to close to me, right?"

He nodded, letting his head drop to the ground. "Yes, I know all too well what you do to those who are within reaching distance of you. You tear their hearts out and joke about it later."

"Actually, I never tried that before." I confessed, staring off into the distance. Letting a wild grin appear on my mouth, I considered what Bakura suggested. "But I should thank you for the idea, it intrigues me. Such a sadistic act contains so much merit that I'll try it some time."

"Don't you know that you already have?" whispered the fair-skinned adolescent, his voice slightly cracking.

Narrowing my eyes, I was perplexed by his wistful tone. "What do you mean by that?"

"Yami," he said, casting his mournful eyes on me directly, "there is more than just one way to hurt someone. Torture doesn't have to come in the form of physical pain, it can be spiritual and emotional, too. Sometimes you can harm people by just a word--"

"I'm as introverted as you, Hikari." I interrupted, dismissing his spontaneous philosophy. "I don't do well with others."

"So I've noticed."

"Then what is your point?" I growled, growing annoyed with his presence. 

"That you choose to be alone for no logical reason at all."

"And what concern is that of yours, little one?"

Lifting his head from the pavement, Ryou fixed his passionate gaze on me once more. Quivering lips fought to reveal his hidden thoughts, but no word escaped the confined flesh. Unable to voice his opinion, the green-eyed adolescent shook his head. I knew he had something on his mind, something that he so very badly wanted to say. Oh, but the terrible pain he was going through was all too great for me. I relished the air of sadness about him, delighted in his angst-filled expression. All that was missing was the usual tears, but I had seen him cry so many times before that I could just imagine where the stains of sadness would go.

One of my trademark cackles reverberated in the streets. "Did you forget what you wanted to tell me, or are just displaying sorrow for my satisfaction?"

Shaking his head vigorously, the tiny child's face began to crumple. One thing was for certain: Bakura was beginning to lose his sanity.

Just for the thrill of watching him lose his composure, I said, "Whatever it is you're hiding, get rid of it. I'm sure it's not useful information to you or anyone else, much less me. " Letting his head drop dejectedly between his shoulders, the freezing teenager placed a hand over his mouth. A corner of my lips lifted in a cruel half grin, for I saw what he didn't want me to be a witness of: him stifling a weary sob. "By the way," I added, my tone horribly sardonic, "you should find your way home now. Pretty defenseless sweethearts don't do well in the city at this hour. If you want to stay out here and become a rape statistic, that's your business…I hope you don't mind if I'm in the shadows watching."

"Why?" he cried at last, his emotions becoming quite volatile.

"Because pain is pleasure." I replied casually, a sinful smile still plastered to my mouth. "Your pain, that is."

"No, that's not what I meant!" Ryou sobbed, his delicate hands covering his visage, "I want to know how you got to this point and why you are such a selfish bastard!" 

"Like it or not, that's just who I am, kid. Get over it."

"You don't have to be!" he protested, his speech considerably distressed. "I know you don't have to be like this!"

"You don't know a damn thing about me." I snarled, hating the verbal contest he drew me into. Discussing my attitude wasn't one of my favorite conversation topics.

Sniffling, he looked me straight in the eye. "That's because you don't want me to know anything about you. You don't want _anyone_ getting close to you, being with you, actually making the _effort_ to get to know you. All you do is push people away with vile commentary, vicious conduct, and derogatory glares. Damn it, Yami!" he cursed through gritted teeth and tears, "Seto Kaiba is a compassionate dream date compared to you!"

Glowering at the tiny teenager, I could feel my hands balling themselves up into fists, my nails cutting into my skin. "Where do you get off judging me? You aren't exactly surrounded by groups of friends waiting to talk to you, either." I pointed out, forcing him to remember his own solitude. "I don't understand how you think you're so much better than me when you can't even hold a stable conversation with someone, let alone a full-blown relationship!"

"The only reason I don't have a committed relationship right now is because you won't let me have one!" Ryou countered, his emerald orbs as watery as the ground we stood on.

"Me?!" I asked in mock disbelief while turning to face him. Furious with his half-wit attempt to blame me for something I didn't contribute to, I yelled, "How is it my fault that you're some reject who can't get laid?!"

"It's not the sex I'm after." stated the small adolescent, giving me a dirty look. "Not everyone constantly tries to find something to dry screw all the time."

"Ah, I see. You want a puppy on a chain to dominate, don't you? You want someone to follow you around whenever you yank their collar." With a twisted smirk, I added, "I'm sure Joey would be interested in that, but check with Seto first…he may want to charge you for whatever services you want."

My smile faded as my petite counterpart marched up to me. For such a small person, Ryou possessed an insane amount of audacity. Maybe I was giving him entirely too much credit…I knew a fine line existed between bravery and stupidity. In a world of fun and games, Bakura would probably consider himself courageous for confronting me. Unfortunately, that's not the way it works. This is cold reality, where idealistic individuals find themselves being sacrificed to my kind, the species of wild animals that stalk precious innocents in the night. I never allowed anyone to speak to me in the manner that he did, and I didn't intend on letting him get away with it, either. He just crossed over into my personal space, a dimension where there was no return.

Stalking up to meet me face-to-face, the skinny boy spat his response at me icily. "Joey and Seto at least love one another, Yami. They have someone to go home to at the end of the day. They have someone who will be there for them no matter what. They can share in each other's laughter, their tears, their deepest fears, even their worst nightmares. And what do you have, you callous ingrate? Who do you have to kiss and make everything better when you've had a bad time? Who comes to your rescue when you've screwed up one too many times and you've been made the center of all ridicule?"

I stood silent, but my scalding gaze told him what he needed to know.

"Really, Yami? Is that so?" he growled, his arctic gaze pinning me to the pavement. "Just as I thought…no one. You have no one. Nobody to play with, you're all alone in the nursery, up against a corner of a wall while other children pass you by with their friends and romantic interests. Face it, Yami, you're just a little kid who grew up to be an unloved reject of society, haunting everyone you come across because that's the only way you know how to get attention."

Contemplating the weight of his words, I felt my vision drift to the ground. In my few thousand years of existence, no one ever took it upon themselves to address me in such a manner. For the first moment in my life, I was struck speechless. What was I supposed to do? Insult him and hope that he'd leave soon? Walk away and pretend I didn't hear him? Choose an abusive action to put Ryou in his place? No. I couldn't do that, not anymore…he was right. Bakura was right about everything. It was as if he could peer into the depths of my very soul and comprehend my manic personality and awful past. Overwhelmed with feelings I had never felt before, something warm and wet slipped over my cheek. The sensation was strange, for the hot liquid burned my eye lid, then it fell onto my flesh slowly. My jaw trembled, incapable of expressing the traumatic memories sealed away in my mind for so long. All around me, the brightly lit residences, fully decorated lawns, and the occasional vehicles that passed us by vanished. I couldn't even make out the road beneath us anymore, my heart was so heavy. Everything had faded to black, a place resembling some sort of warp in space devoid of everything…but not everyone. When I was finally able to look out through my blurred eyes, I saw him, and he was only inches away from my visage.

Wearing a pitiful expression, he called my name. "Yami…?" 

His tone, so caring, so tranquil, made me hold my breath. I tried to talk, but no words came out. Only more new sticky wet things dripped over my features, running down my chin in little rivers.

Reaching out to touch me, my Hikari form said, "Let me, Spirit. Let me help you…"

Without saying another word, he did as he promised he would. Tapered fingertips brushed my flesh, flicking the unwanted fluids from my cheeks. Every time his hand made contact with my face, I shuddered. His kindness, his sincerity, the way he moved his fingers so gently over my visage, and him simply being so close to me…it was all too overwhelming. Within seconds, I felt my legs give out, and I collapsed to the street below. 

"Are you all right?" Ryou inquired, his voice full of worry. "Are you okay?"

Slippery runnels from my eyes welded themselves to my face, adding to my wealth of sadness. "Make them stop!" I cried, slapping the self-generated water off of my visage as fast as I could. "I don't want this junk on my face!"

Giving me a broken smile, Bakura asked, "Do you even know what they are?"

"What do I care?" I sniffled, dragging my knees up to my chest. "They feel so…foreign."

Tipping my head up to meet his gaze, the tiny teenager said softly, "They are a natural reaction to sadness, Yami. Tears are just an extreme form of angst someone releases in a physical manner."

Staring vacantly at him, I could hardly bring myself to comprehend what he had told me. "You mean to say I am crying?"

Nodding slowly, the silvery-haired adolescent continued to hold me tight. "Yes, but that's only if you want to be technical about it." Draping his arm around my shoulders, he said, "I still wish to help you."

"But why?" I questioned him, completely bewildered by his friendly nature towards me. "I belittled your life, said nasty things about your friends, even drove you away from me on more than one separate occasion--"

"But you aren't now." Ryou pointed out, lifting me onto his lap. "That's all I'll ever ask from you."

Picking up on the subtle undertones of his response, my eyes opened wide. Now, after all this time of insulting him and pushing him away, I finally understood why he was able to cope with the whole situation. Why hadn't I seen it before?

"Ryou-chan?" I sniffed, shivering slightly as a gust of wind blew past us.

"Hai, Yami-san?"

"This is what you wanted, ne?"

Looking at me in artificial amazement, Bakura asked, "You think you know what I want?"

"I can see right through your transparent guise, Hikari." I stated, studying the lines on his face. "This is what you were beginning to tell me earlier, wasn't it?"

An eyebrow of his lifted, considering the case I presented to him.

"This is the "committed relationship" you wanted, but couldn't have…and it was because I had to agree to be your lover to make your wish come true, right?"

A secret grin appeared on his mouth, and I found that I didn't need any further explanation for his generosity towards me.

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/In the love that we have made before time./


	3. Final Destination

Ch. 3: Final Destination

So many memories like that were plaguing my thoughts now, coursing through my mind like a random slideshow. Special occasions like our first kiss bounced back and forth inside of my brain more often than ideas of theft or masochism. I couldn't do anything else but regret all the times I had cruelly ignored Ryou or literally did something downright vicious to him. Abuse, both verbal and physical, were exercised over him by my very hands. Every time I thought I had seen the last of him, the silvery-haired adolescent would mysteriously appear in my living space, ready to forgive me for any action I had committed. 

There were certain incidents where I had beaten him so badly that he was dragged away by paramedics to reside in a hospital room for a night. Seto paid for the medical bill while his lover, Joey, visited my hikari. Over and over again, the blond would plead with my weaker form to stay with him and his boyfriend, but the dark-eyed boy refused. He was absolutely addicted to the faint hope that, one day, I would abandon the strangling need to be corrupt and see what life was like on the other side of the personality spectrum. Even Kaiba tried to convince Ryou that cold-hearted people didn't change unless they sincerely wanted to, but his words were wasted on the innocent counterpart's illusion-happy ears. That determination and iron will was admirable, but both of his friends argued that those two traits would be his downfall. The wealthy executive and his koi couldn't have been more accurate when they stated what they had, since the petite adolescent met a traumatic, unfortunate end that changed my life forever…

/If the years take away every memory that I have/

If I could have altered any given place and time in the history of my romance between me and my high school equivalent, I never would have left home that morning. Spontaneous drifting was usually part of my daily agenda, but I had no real reason to go where I had gone. By pure accident, I had strolled into Domino High's parking lot, looking for some sort of havoc to wreak on anyone reckless enough to get in my way. Young adults made easy targets, for they spent more time worrying about their make-up or talking than paying attention to what was going on around them. Vehicles of every color, shape, and dimension filled the stalls on the asphalt, their chrome exteriors glinting in the sunlight as I strode past them. Most automobiles there were economy-sized models, good for traveling with four to six passengers. Teenagers, for some bizarre reason or another, had a kind of pack mentality to them where they could only go to a store or restaurant with an entire group of allies. Out of the blue, I thanked the gods that Ryou had the decency to let me sleep without infringing on my territory with a troop of loud mouth kids. His quiet disposition and shy sensitivity quickly made him a favorite mark for slander and harassment. While his social life suffered, he was able to excel in the fine art of painting. Masterpieces of his hung in the corridors of his school or in select teacher's rooms, displaying his natural talent for detail and realism. Few adolescents there actually appreciated his compositions, and the drawings gave troublemakers another reason to tease him since they craved his artistic qualities for themselves. Jounouchi persuaded Seto to come to my hikari's rescue during class hours, so I remained detached from the entire messy situation. Besides, I didn't think of myself as a vital element in Ryou's existence, so I kept my distance from his relationship problems, until today…

Second period had started approximately fifteen minutes ago, so I couldn't understand why a litter of teenagers were hanging out by their cars. I knew that they were doing far more than skipping class because of the fashion they were standing in. All of them, who were mostly males, had situated themselves into what seemed to be a circle. Cat calls rose up from the small gathering along with frequent whistling, the girls of the gaggle adding to the sound effects by throwing in some high-pitched giggles. Cocking my head to the side with a hint of interest, I sauntered up between a Saturn and SUV for a better look.

Within moments, I was greeted by the sight of a Caucasian female on top of my tiny hikari, her violet eyes dancing with cold malice. Holding him to the concrete with the help of one of her partners in crime, she bit Bakura on the neck. Savagely sinking her canine teeth into the boy's silky flesh, she dug her cat-like claws into his arms. Yelping in pain, the dark-eyed adolescent struggled against the weight of the aggressive girl, but her friend kept him plastered to where he was. Powerless in defending himself, the little child-like teen tried his best not to let the other kids see him cry. Deciding that she wanted to push him over the edge, the girl made provocative advances. Ryou's eyes went wide as the female molested his anatomy, tearing whatever attire she desired just for fun. Sniffling in despair, the dark-eyed boy cried out. His desperate mourning just caused the rest of the illiterate crowd to laugh; they were intrigued by the notion of a girl having her way with his body. Helpless tears flowed off his cheeks at last when his clothes were torn from his small frame, his exposed structure shivering in the freezing winter air. As a grand finale, the guys egged the girl into finishing him off by stealing his precious virginity. Smirking at the task before her, the girl began to slide her skirt up her hips to ride him senseless. I don't know what came over me while I stood and watched such a grisly show of domination, but it was enough to spark a great amount of rage inside of me. Something inside my mind just broke, the main computer of my system hung on one command and one command only: the dire need to kill.

Stalking over to the female in the center of the circus ring, I caught her by the hair and yanked her off of my hikari so violently that she screamed. 

"Shut up." I ordered her, slapping her high-maintenance face. "Barbie Doll bitches like you make me want to vomit."

Nodding swiftly, the teenager stared at me with wild eyes. At least she was smart enough to keep her trap closed. Grabbing her by the neck, I pulled her to my right like a dog.

"What the fuck's wrong with you?" yelled one of the males, mad that I wouldn't let go of the girl in my grasp.

"I was just about to ask you all the same damned thing." I growled, my tone low and menacing.

"We're minding our own business, like you should be doing." another piped up, brandishing his sports toned muscles at me. "Let her go and get the hell out of here."

"Or what?" I asked, amused by the shaky quality in his tone. "None of you have the strength or the intelligence to bring me down."

"We'll just see about that." snarled the first adolescent, locking his steely gaze on me.

Letting out a deformed battle cry, the male lunged for me. Already predicting the hasty move, I sidestepped his lame assault. Smirking at his befuddled expression, I countered with a maneuver of my own. Thrusting my hand out in his direction, I seized him by the throat. Pleased with my precision in catching him off-guard, I lifted him off the ground for his whole group of followers to gaze at. Funny little gasping noises could be heard from him, but I paid no heed to the weakling in my clutches. My only concern was to see the lunatic get what he deserved.

"Now, which one of you bastards wants to take me on?" I shouted, my hellish stare burning itself into the eyes of everyone around me. When only the eerie silence answered me, I said, "No one? Not one of you has the balls to challenge me?" An unsettling quietness pulsed through the small collection of teens, their faces twisted in fright. Gritting my teeth, I added, "Just because you can't find something to screw doesn't give you the right to prey on a classmate of yours. If you dumb asses need to have it that badly, than go get a prostitute. Otherwise," I advised, dropping the adolescent I held in my clutches, "you'll have more than just some ridiculous administrator to deal with--you'll have yours truly instead. Do I make myself perfectly clear?"

All around me, a mass of heads bobbed up and down. Clearing the way for me, the teens moved back as I stretched my hand into Ryou's grabbing range. Glancing at my offered limb, the tiny youth contemplated the repercussions of accepting my help.

Sighing into the heavens, I asked, "Well? What's the hold up?"

Sniffling slightly, he replied, "I'm just not used to you doing anything for me, that's all."

A small grin appeared on my face. "I didn't think anyone should have been treated like that. Especially you."

Smiling from ear-to-ear, the silvery-haired adolescent clasped placed his hand within mine. "I'm glad you chose to be here for me, Yami. Domo arigato for your benevolence."

Waving the little hikari's praise off with a flick of my wrist, I said, "Come on, let's get you out of here. I've got some extra outfits on underneath my jacket that you could wear."

His shimmering green eyes regarded me in a similar way to that of a princess' who was just saved from the clutches of an evil witch. Twining his fingers between mine, I heaved the nude teen to a standing position. Detesting the manner in which the silvery-haired boy was hideously cold, I stripped my trench coat from my structure and wrapped it around his shoulders. Grateful for the warmth the wool material offered, Ryou quickly slipped his arms through the garment and buttoned it up all the way. Deciding that he would be fine until we got home, I began to lead him out of the parking lot. The worst was over, so all I had to worry about now was mending a few scrapes and bruises on his slightly torn frame. Bakura's mind would be the hardest to repair out of this entire dilemma, for I knew all too well the damaging effects that sex abuse had on sensitive souls. Sliding an arm around his waist, I illustrated my plans for him once we arrived at our final destination.

"A warm bath would suit you well today, along with some Jasmine oil and rose petals." I told him while keeping his balance steady as we walked together in the crisp December wind. "Maybe some instrumental Celtic music would help you calm down as well."

Nodding his assent, the dark-eyed adolescent cuddled up closely to me as he whimpered softly. Feeling a stitch of sadness for him, I let him bury his head in my chest. Feathery strands of his snowy tresses flapped in the breeze, flowing in back of him like a crystal river. Catching a lock of his hair, I toyed with it idly, enjoying its satiny texture. 

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/He's mine./ I thought, grinding my teeth as I vowed to myself that no harm would ever come to my hikari ever again. _/He's mine, and no one can ever take him away from me./_

Shocked that a loving idea like that would ever come from my own mind, I halted in mid-step. Did I just think to myself that I would assume the role of Ryou's sole protector? Could I be falling for the petite boy, as insignificant as he always seemed to be to me? What in all of hell's angels was wrong with me? Romantic thoughts never came across my line of sight, much less my own brain…what could I be concocting in this chaotic mind of mine? 

"Why do you have such an awkward expression on your face, Spirit?" asked the tiny child, forcing me to focus on him even more than I was already.

Grasping for a believable lie to vocalize, I said gruffly, "Nothing, nothing at all. Mind your own business, Hikari."

Narrowing his dark eyes at me, the petite adolescent shook his head. I could tell that he wasn't buying my "nothing's the matter" routine. Hooking a thumb and forefinger around my chin, he tipped my head down to meet his calculating gaze.

"You can't hide anything from me, Yami. I know something is going through that head of yours, but only you can tell me what it is. What are you keeping from me?"

Breaking free from his constricting stare, I resumed my leisurely walk once more. I didn't get far, for my determined counterpart snatched my wrist and tried to hold me back. Tugging me to a complete stop, the silvery-haired boy blocked my path.

"Like I said, you don't do a very good job at covering up the truth." Ryou stated, gripping my arm tightly. "Tell me. Tell me what you know."

"Which would be what?" I asked robotically, devoid of any feeling.

Throwing his hands up in the air, Bakura shouted, "You have to be the most impossible individual I have ever met! First you end up in the same exact location as me by pure coincidence, then you get me out of the bad predicament I was in, and now you're going back to being a bitch again! What the hell is your problem, anyways? Why do you have to be such a bastard when I'm involved with you? If I didn't know any better, I'd say that you--"

"Are in love." I finished for him, my words still unemotional.

"Yeah, that's what it is!" my hikari said, tossing a hand in my direction. "I guess it just has to be love--"

Realizing that he was right on the money, his eyes got to be as large as coffee cup saucers. He stared at me with huge dark orbs, searching my visage for any sign that would reveal to him that I was blatantly lying. Seeing that I was completely serious, his jaw dropped open in total disbelief.

"Dear spirits, are you serious?" he breathed, gazing at me incredulously.

"No, I just felt like saying that for no reason whatsoever." I snapped at him sarcastically, glaring at him unkindly. "I just love babbling so that the empty space surrounding us can hear me."

Returning my malicious look with one of his own, Ryou said, "Okay, so you have feelings for me. You don't have to be such a bitch about it."

"Whoever said that I liked you?"

"Who's saying that you don't?" countered Bakura folding his arms in front of himself.

Shrugging, I turned away from him.

"Ha!" cried the tiny teen excitedly while clapping his hands, "I knew it! I knew you had more emotions for me than you wanted to admit, and you aren't even denying any of my accusations!"

"Don't be so damned pleased with yourself." I growled, sauntering off down the street. "It took you long enough to figure out, anyways."

"I was right! I am so right!" chanted the silvery-haired adolescent, skipping by my side like a cheerful water nymph. "I am so very right!"

"Shut up already." I commanded, playfully trying to swat him. Ducking underneath my hitting range, the bouncy adolescent continued to hop about me in a happy fashion.

"Come on an make me, you love sick sweetie!" he taunted, sticking his bubble gum tongue out at me.

"You wouldn't want that." I said in a low unpleasant voice. "You'd get more than you would bargain for."

"Oh, is that so, Yami?" he asked, his tone mocking me. "And just what do you have to back such a threat up with.?"

Abruptly spinning around to face him, I grabbed his shoulders and pushed him against my body. Before a word of protest was spoken, I cupped his face with my hands and pulled him in for savage kiss that even had the power to steal my breath away. Ryou's frame fell slack on top of my own, melting into my arms as he circled his arms around my neck. 

"Mmm, Spirit…" he moaned into my mouth as my hands traveled up his back. "I never knew you could be so good."

"You have much to learn about me." I breathed while holding on to the contours of his waist.

"Teach me?" he pleaded, his eyes full of ardent longing. "I want to know so much more about you."

Turning my head up towards the sky, I let out a deep, throaty laugh. "All in good time, precious. We have to get home first."

"I can't wait." he said, grinning at me wickedly.

"Neither can I." a voice declared from behind us.

An expression of terror swept over Ryou's features as he held my hand with all of his strength. Seeking the shelter of my embrace, the dark-eyed boy threw himself at me. Catching him with my free arm, I glared over my shoulder at the idiot stupid enough to ruin or sweet rendezvous time. Occupying a section of the sidewalk a few feet away from us, a male that appeared to be in his teenage years glowered at us with chilling green eyes. Matching his smoldering stare, I bared my fangs at him from a distance.

"Oh, gods, it's him." whimpered Bakura, his voice muffled by my many layers of clothes. 

"Hush, now." I told my hikari form who was scared out of his wits. "Nothing's going to happen to you."

"That's what you want him to think." sneered the cocky adolescent, his eyes shining with terrible thoughts. "Too bad you're going to have to break your promise to him."

"You have no business with us anymore, so be gone." I ordered him, my anger rising to an abominable height. 

"With you, I don't. You're right about that much of it." agreed the hostile male shoving a hand in his pocket. "Matter of fact, you're free to leave anytime you want. It's Ryou I'm after, not you."

"Anything concerning Bakura becomes my problem." I stated coldly, standing my ground. 

"We just weren't finished back there with him yet." the teen said, sighing in mock disappointment. "You sorta messed up our fun."

"Only an imbecile would see a hate crime like that as entertainment." I declared, speaking through gritted teeth. 

"Maybe so," replied the adolescent, pulling his limb out of his pocket in what seemed to be like slow motion. "But I can make up for all of that right here."

It didn't take long for my mind to register what the object in his hand was. Brandishing a small handgun, the teenager aimed the barrel straight at us. Everything that followed afterwards was a blur in my head: Ryou screaming in terror, me attempting to push my hikari out of the gun's sight, and finally, a loud, clear blast echoing through the streets. The ringing in my ears subsided in seconds, but a new form of sorrow was planted in my heart that day and never stopped growing since then. Cruel laughter faded into the midmorning sunlight as I fell to my knees by my counterpart's side. Though I didn't want to believe what had just occurred, there was just no escaping the terrible truth. I knew that my hikari was unlucky enough to be caught in the line of fire, but I refused to accept things for what they were. Practically tearing the buttons off of my trench coat, I ripped open the black fabric concealing my other half's body. Immediately, I was struck by the sight of a pool of red oozing out from the left side of his chest. It was too late to save him, for the bullet hit a vital target on my hikari: his delicate heart.

Gazing up at me with dazed emerald orbs, the tiny teen whispered, "Is this the end, Spirit?"

Shaking my head quickly, I replied, "No. No it's not. You're going to be okay. You'll be just fine."

Knowing that my words were more for my benefit than his, the gentle adolescent rasped, "You don't have to tell me that, Yami. I know that I'm going to die soon."

Again, I denied his inevitable fate by rapidly moving my head from side to side. "Don't say that." I begged him, my voice cracking under the pressure of hearing such defeatist language. "Don't you dare give up on me like this."

"Yami," he breathed while managing a weak smile, "Never have I done such a thing…not once since I have had the pleasure of meeting your acquaintance."

"Really?" I asked, hinging on his every phrase. "Do you mean that?"

"Do you doubt me?" countered the dying child, removing some excess snowy strands of hair from his visage.

"I guess you aren't that bad off since you can still draw me into a challenging debate." 

Offering me a weary smile, the petite adolescent suddenly grew serious. "Search your heart for the truth, Yami. You know that I have been trying to get you to notice me since the first hour destiny let out lives intertwine." Watching my head move up and down, my hikari found the strength to continue. "While everyone was blinded by the harsh image you projected, I explored long and hard to see the soul inside. I knew that I would be required to endure many hardships along the way, but--"

"I'm so sorry." I interrupted, my voice barely above a whisper. "All those times I made you bleed, made you hurt--"

"Were all necessary risks I had to take." finished my counterpart, cutting my self-blaming session short.

"Necessary?" I repeated in an dubious tone, unable to let Ryou take full credit for bringing my evil actions upon himself. "You nearly died the way I treated you!"

Disregarding the previous events in which I had wounded him, Bakura went on. "Nevertheless, if I was given the power to go back in time and avoid everything that had happened, I wouldn't. I couldn't bring myself to forfeit the moments we shared together. All in one twenty-four hour segment, I had discovered your feelings for me were as deep as mine are for you, and that I can't leave this plane without telling you what I should have long ago. No matter where you are, what you're doing, or at what point you find yourself in during life's many trials, know this, dear Yami: I love you. Aishiteru my one and only, for I love you like no other with every breath truly madly deeply do. I'll always be waiting for you, for no archangel or celestial spirit will ever be able to take your place in my mind or heart. Wherever I find myself spending the afterlife in, I pledge to you my soul so that you can have a piece of me with you from now until you draw your last sigh in this realm."

"Don't leave me!" I cried, my voice choking up as a fresh batch of tears welled up in my eyes. "Didn't you just promise me that you'd be here for me, no matter what?"

"I have always been here for you, Spirit, and I'll _still_ be watching over you even after I have lost my physical form."

Sobbing freely, I let the waterfalls from my dark orbs fall carelessly down my face. "No! There's still time, a doctor can make you better!" 

Reaching into my jeans, I pulled out a cell phone and fumbled with the buttons on the black plastic. With horrible coordination, I tried over and over again to call the city hospital, but to no avail. My fingers tripped over each other in an awkward fashion , making the task at hand virtually impossible to complete. Frustrated, I heard myself cry out in disgust at my incompetence. This was my first and final chance to make up for all of the occasions in which I had tortured Ryou, and I was being a constant disappointment to him with my inability to get my hikari out of harm's path. On the verge of a nervous breakdown, I felt someone remove the technical device from my trembling hand. 

"Wha--?" I asked, my accent shaky beyond recognition.

"You won't be needing this." a soft voice answered me, tranquil in its depth and quality.

Glancing over at the green-eyed child, I saw that he had taken my phone from my grasp. 

Responding to the look of confusion on my visage, the petite adolescent said, "No one can help me escape the alluring song Lady Death is sweetly singing for me. In a little while, I'll succumb to her bewitching blade and terminate my existence on Earth; however," he gestured with a raised index finger, fixing his unblinking emerald gaze on me, "she will not take me before I finish telling you what you should already know. I've been such a coward lately, and I apologize for my behavior. I can't believe I let months pass me by before I got up enough courage to speak my mind to you, let alone vocalize my emotions, too. In light of this whole bitter ordeal, I have faith that my death will not be in vain. Live on and never let the joy of romance wither in your heart, or the capability to have the child within your soul come out and play once in a while."

Sniffling a bit, I objected, "But you _are _the 'child of my soul,' Hikari!" 

Without arguing against my viewpoint, Ryou's eyes fell shut. Gasping in horror, I gently shook him in an attempt to jar him to life, but he remained motionless in my hands. He had reached his final destination, a place where only the most innocent of souls were given the divine privilege of donning angelic wings to fly through the sketchy clouds created by the late afternoon sun. 


	4. The Velvet Box

Chapter Four: The Velvet Box

__

/I would still know the way that would lead me back to your side. /

Even though I wasn't the one who had pulled the trigger on Ryou that morning, I felt overwhelmingly responsible for his demise. Instead of cherishing the silvery-haired child's presence, I had turned my back on him the vast majority of the time. Why I had done so was a mystery I could not even unravel myself. What was I so afraid of? Having someone love me and doing the same for them? Was I truly that egotistical and delusional enough to think that I was somehow better off alone? While questions from the past burdened my heart and shoulders, macabre recollections of all the mayhem I had put my hikari through strained my mind.

Drawing in a deep breath, I opened the door to my vehicle and stepped out onto the grass below. The weather was simply gorgeous today; puffy cumulous clouds dotted the sky as glittering rays of sunshine seeped through their snowy formations. Springtime couldn't feel any better than this, for the warm temperature and light breeze provided the perfect atmosphere for any outdoor activity. This was the kind of day that Bakura would stay outside all afternoon in, seeking the serene setting of the town's expansive park. Never failing to have a pen and paper on him when inspiration for a poem or story would come to him, the green-eyed boy would stroll along the side of the river while admiring the scenery nature presented to him. His literature was overflowing with the beauty of life and how much he treasured his existence, even though he was extremely sheltered and had me to deal with regularly. After he had returned home from his philosophical journey through the forest, he would babble endlessly about how intriguing a particular flower had blossomed or describe the interesting people he had observed around him. When he was finished telling me of all the simple wonders he had happened upon, he would throw his arms around my neck and give me a smile that was as sunny and radiant as a cherub. A stab of sadness pierced my heart since I realized that I wouldn't be able to return home and witness my hikari gazing up at me with his brilliant emerald eyes, offering me a special smile that only he could re-create.

__

/The North Star may die, but the light that I see in your eyes would burn there always./

Slamming the door closed to my automobile, I made my way through the overgrown plant life. Vegetation of every variety adorned the meadow I was in, proudly displaying their leaves and blossoms in a stately fashion. Among the pageantry of exquisite flowers and fascinating flora lay the remains of my young counterpart. It had only been a week since Jounouchi and Seto had laid the green-eyed boy to rest here in eternal silent slumber. The funeral service couldn't have been more extravagant, held in a grand cathedral with fragrant white roses in every corner of the building. It was clear that the blond and brunette couple wanted the best for Ryou, since they felt sympathetic towards him for always coming back to me. Only the richest food imported from Europe was allowed to be served at Bakura's ceremony, but no one seemed to have much of an appetite. In the midst of weeping friends, relatives, and acquaintances, Yugi took it upon himself to deliver the eulogy. His sensitive speech touched the hearts of everyone there; his words were extremely well orchestrated and eloquent overall. Even Mutou's Yami had arranged his own separate tribute for my counterpart, his expressions rich with superb metaphors and similes that even the greatest writers in history could not duplicate. Fearing that I would cause some sort of chaos during the somber service, Kaiba persuaded the county court to place a restraining order on me. Bitter with frenzied emotions of remorse, regret, and fury, I peered out at the lavish convention from the shadows. Not only was I strictly forbidden from reciting the sermon I had labored over ever since Bakura had perished, I was also stripped of the opportunity to be one of his coffin bearers. I was forced to stay at least fifty feet away from the quiet gathering at all times so the wealthy executive could make sure that I was removed from the guests completely. To this very day, I still carry a sickeningly high amount of hatred in my soul towards the owner of KaibaCorp for depriving me of the right to be included in Ryou's funeral. I knew I would never be able to forgive the computer-obsessed teenager for what he did to me that day, despite the fact that he had furnished everything for my hikari's memorial service. To make things worse, the dark-haired adolescent treated me like a parasite underneath a microscope, keeping a wary blue eye on me throughout the entire ceremony. Silently glaring at him from behind a wisteria tree, I saw him mimic one of my classic smirks while he signed a sentence that hurt enough to strum the strings of my heart.

__

/You won't be able to harm him anymore; Yami…your reign of terror has ended over Ryou once and for all. /

Furious that the spoiled technology developer had the nerve to blame Bakura's demise on me, I signed back, _/It wasn't my fault, you demented little brat! I saved him from a group of rapists from that low-class high school you attend! Don't you understand that much of the matter? I saved him! /_

Joey, who was standing on Seto's left, had been keeping track of our nasty duel of foul language. Letting go of the blue-eyed teen's hand, the blond ended the brutal conflict of words by constructing the one phrase that nearly broke my spirit.

__

/That's right, you just keep telling yourself that. In reality, we all know the truth: you can't even save yourself. /

Pushing the bad memory from my mind, I knelt down in the pasture and read the inscription on my other half's grave.

__

In loving memory of our friend who was a beautiful soul. We will all treasure the moments we have shared with you and you will be deeply missed by us. Heaven has already reserved a place for you behind its golden gates, so please be our guardian angel and watch over us.

His Excellency, the mighty pharaoh of ancient Egypt, was the author of the short passage on my hikari's tomb. Once gain, the master duelist had shown his softer side to the world with his artistic choice of vocabulary. He had my envy, for my compositions always seemed to pale in comparison next to his. Yami Yugi was able to win his high school equivalent's affection with romantic pieces of literature, something I was never gifted enough to succeed at. Plucking my sunglasses from my visage, I felt guilty for all the times I refused to do something sentimental for Ryou's sake. When he suggested a dreamy night concerning just the two of us, I'd decline the invitation to hear him retire to his bedroom and cry about his misfortune. Biting down on my lower lip, I sighed wistfully at my turbulent reminiscences. All I ever seemed talented at doing was making the dark-eyed youth lose his self-control.

Folding the jet-black accessory I held, I dropped it into my trench coat pocket. On my knees in front of Bakura's tomb, I fished a picture out of the inside of my jacket. As a soft wind played with my long chrome-colored tresses, I gazed expressionlessly at the photograph. Slightly torn around the edges and faded, the old image was my most prized possession. Taken at a popular arcade across from the high school, the snapshot included all of Ryou's best friends. Yugi sat on a pinball machine, smiling widely as he used the King of Games' head for an arm cushion. Unruffled by the boy's weight balancing on his tri-colored mane, the master duelist had placed his arm lovingly around his younger half's waist. Towards the back of the group stood Seto Kaiba, gazing at the camera with intense sapphire eyes. A phantom grin traced his lips, denoting that he was genuinely content at the moment. In his arms resided Jounouchi who was happy being lifted into the air by his boyfriend. Flashing a trademark peace sign, the bouncy blond added his own personality to the mix with his spirited smirk. Seated to the far right of everyone, Mai and Tea held hands, their dainty fingers twined in between one another. And lastly, in the center of the large cluster of allies was Ryou, kneeling down on his legs with the most peaceful expression on his face. He seemed more comfortable around the collection of teenagers than me…why did he always have to seek out my companionship? Did the emerald-eyed boy secretly like being a masochist? Did he honestly enjoy the occasions in which I knocked him unconscious, or was he sincerely in love with me?

"He loved you more than you will ever know, Spirit." a voice said, pulling me out of my reverie.

Glancing up to see who had answered my thoughts, I saw young Yugi hovering over me. Regarding me with a wistful look, the small adolescent appeared to be on the brink of tears. His big magenta eyes swam with unshed sadness, contradicting his normally cheerful disposition. Lengthy blond bangs of his billowed in the breeze, flapping against his face every once in a while when the wind died down. Cradled in his arms was a bunch of white roses that were still in the form of buds, fresh from the florist. He hugged the long-stemmed flowers to his chest, sheltering them from the occasional gusts of wind that blew past us.

"Maybe so, maybe not." I replied with a casual shrug in my standard flippant tone. "I guess I'll never know the extent of his feelings for me, due to h-his--"

Unable to complete my statement, I closed my mouth and turned my head to the side. Yugi probably believed the ridiculous rumors that Seto spread throughout the town about me, so I didn't dare to vocalize the events surrounding Ryou's death.

Suppressing the urgent need to cry, I whispered, "I don't care what Kaiba has been saying to you or the rest of your uninformed comrades…I don't have to live up to anyone's expectations."

Placing a consoling hand on my shoulder, the small boy said softly, "That's right, you don't."

"You mean to say you believe my story about what really happened that morning?" I asked, truly amazed that he didn't immediately condemn me to hell.

"Pharaoh and I know the truth, Spirit. We both understand that you were a hero that day and not the criminal."

"Hero?" I repeated, shaking my head in astonishment. "Not even remotely true. I was just the arrogant bystander that couldn't protect Bakura from the blast of the firearm. In the end, I proved to him that I was nothing but a--"

Lightly pressing his finger against my lips, the little child contested my speech. "Yami, you did all you could for him."

"But I wasn't able to save him!"

Nodding his head slowly, the petite adolescent let a ghost of a smile appear on his mouth. "Yes, you _did_ save him, but not in the way that you thought he needed to be."

"I don't understand." I said flatly, eyeing the high school student closely.

"Ryou needed someone to bring him out of his own little world." explained Yugi, fussing with the roses he held. "While everyone in class was talking or amusing themselves with calculator games, Bakura would be as quiet as a sleeping kitten, studying the pages of the latest novel he checked out of the library. Other students would try to converse with him, but he was too shy to open up to anybody. Eventually, people just gave up on attempting to acquire a friendship with him."

"But he had you kids, didn't he?" I pointed out, hooking some of my hair behind an ear of mine.

"True enough." agreed the magenta-eyed teen, sighing sadly to himself. "After a while, we discovered that he would only let us get so close to him before he scampered back behind all those steel walls he had."

"Steel walls?" I repeated, my attention fixed solely on him now.

"Defense mechanisms, if you want to be precise about the matter." said the spiky-haired boy, adjusting the curling ribbon tied to the flowers. Twisting the white decoration with an index finger, he studied the texture of the ornament as if in deep thought. 

Clearing my throat with a cough, I filled in the awkward gap of silence by thinking out loud. "Those so-called 'defense mechanisms' you speak of…they sound strangely familiar to me."

Giving me a sad smile, the petite child bent down beside me. Resting a small hand on top of mine, he stroked my skin in such a delicate fashion that I was instantly reminded of Ryou. Without giving my action a second thought, I jerked my limb away from the magenta-eyed boy. Appearing to be hurt by my abrupt gesture, the little teenager lowered his head in a defeatist manner.

"I'm so sorry." apologized the spiky-haired boy, staring at the ground. "It's still too soon to be discussing this sort of thing. I won't pressure you to say anymore to me."

Tenderly setting the beautiful blossoms on Bakura's burial chamber, the magenta-eyed teenager neatly arranged them. When he was pleased with the assembly of budding flowers, he gave them a half-hearted grin and helped himself to his feet. Dusting himself off with small shaky hands, the petite adolescent reached into his pants to retrieve his car keys. 

Turning to face me, Yugi dangled the array of silver items while saying, "I suppose I should be leaving now, since Pharaoh is waiting for me at home. We're going out to Capital Plaza to do some last-minute shopping."

"Oh." I said, unsure of how to reply to his statement. "Have fun, Little One."

Bobbing his head forwards and backwards, the spiky-haired teenager offered me a grim smile before walking off in the direction of the sunset. Alone again in the cemetery, I basked in the eerie quietness hanging in the air and prickling my skin. Suddenly, my world evolved into a depressing, dangerous space drowning me in feelings of loneliness and misery. I had a mind that resembled a dry, cracked desert accompanied by a heart that was the same as a barren wasteland. A desperate sensation of longing filled me, the absolute need and desire to be held, to be cherished. In general, I wished to be the keeper of someone's heart, and I would hand them mine just so that I could belong to someone. Love is what I was hoping for, what my bleak soul required. Shivering in the field from my cold sense of self-worth, I whimpered into the wind. Everyone in life was passing me by with places to go and people to see while I sat in a graveyard keeping company with those in the land of the dead. Finally, I realized that I was as cold and inactive as the spirits in their catacombs. Without my cultured counterpart, I was nothing. More or less, I'm as good as dead. Grinding my teeth together painfully, I positioned one of my hands on my upper arm. As I closed my eyes, I dragged my nails over my flesh. While savoring the feeling of tearing my own tissue, I bowed my head. One of Ryou's speeches seeped through my brain, his edgy voice gnawing at the inside of my ears.

__

/No one…you have no one. Nobody to play with, you're all alone in the nursery up against a wall while other children pass you by with their friends and romantic interests. /

Ah, yes, the truth has a vile tendency of hurting sometimes…especially now more than ever. I couldn't stand how right he was then, how completely true his little talk with me was. Why? Why did I do every nasty thing invented to push him away from me? Why did I do that to everyone that was trying to be civil to me? Just what the hell was wrong with me so bad that I had to isolate myself from the rest of everything living on this planet? Cracking under the stress of my own thoughts, I let my fingers delve deeper into my weary body.

__

/Someone…anyone…save me, please./ I whimpered silently to myself like a frightened little child seeking shelter in a cold alley way at night. _/Jounouchi was right, too…I just can't do it alone. I can't save myself. I couldn't rescue Ryou, and I sure as hell can't even save myself./_

Suddenly, as if an angel from the heavens decided to grant me a wish that I didn't deserve, a foreign limb squeezed my shoulder. Ecstatic that my prayer had been answered, I lifted my head to see who had came to me. 

"Did I startle you, Yami?" inquired the magenta-eyed teenager, his eyes full of worry.

Softly, I shook my head. "No…I was hoping that some one would appear by my side soon to grant me company."

Bewildered by my emotional response, the tiny adolescent gave me a funny look. He scratched his cheek, wondering if he heard me correctly or not. Entertained by his puzzled expression, I laughed out loud.

"What's so funny, Spirit?" he asked, a frown on his lips.

Still smiling in amusement, I replied, "Just the way you look right now, that's all."

"Oh, that's real nice to say." pouted Yugi, molding his features into an expression of unhappiness. "That's just what I wanted to hear today."

Laughing once more, I attempted to cover up my insulting sentence with a poor apology. "Come now, Little one, I meant no disrespect by what I said. Don't take my words literally."

Yugi narrowed his eyes at me, taken aback by my suddenly human nature. "Are you trying to apologize to me, Yami?"

"I guess so…in a roundabout manner, though."

He stared at me in pure amazement, dropping his hand to his side. "Oh, Ra…" he whispered, clearly astounded by my words, "is this the end of life as I know it?"

"I just said 'I'm sorry' to you, what's so wrong with that?"

"The fact that you never say that to anyone."

Smiling at him good-naturedly, I opposed his line of thought. "Yes I do."

"Since when?" asked the spiky-haired boy, arching an eyebrow as he spoke. 

"Didn't I just say that I was sorry?"

Rolling his purple-red eyes, the youthful half of the King of Games rubbed his temple. "You've got me there."

"So, what brings you back here?" I asked, switching topics spontaneously. "I thought you had to go to the mall or something of the sort.

Pausing in massaging his hairline, the small adolescent said, "Oh, we're still going, but that will be later on. I forgot something here."

"What, are you going to take the flowers back with you?"

Glaring at me, the magenta-eyed teen replied, "No, I'm not a tomb robber, Yami. The roses stay here with Bakura."

"Then what else is there you could have left here?" I asked, truly at a loss. "I didn't see you drop anything on your way out."

"It's not what I _left _here," clarified the sorter individual, tucking his hand into his clothes. "it's what I should have _done _here."

Sifting through the pocket of his over-sized jacket, Yugi closed his eyes. Lines of anxiety creased his brow as he searched the inside of his coat. Muttering to himself under his breath, he dug his other hand into the opposite pouch.

"It has to be here somewhere…Pharaoh reminded me to get it while I was in my room."

After he confirmed that the mysterious object he was looking for wasn't in his jacket, he searched the contents of his pants. At last he found the item he was searching for and pulled it out into the open, concealing it within the shelter of his palm. 

"Thank the gods I didn't lose it or leave it in my drawer." smiled the tiny teenager as he sighed with relief.

"I assume it is for Ryou, then?" I guessed, eyeing his small hand.

"Well, it's a little trinket he gave me the honor of watching."

"He was a sentimental individual…I know he'll be thrilled to see that you've taken care of one of his presents to you for so long."

"It's not mine."

Peering up at him in confusion, I inquired, "It's not?"

He moved his head from side to side, verifying what he had stated.

"Then whose is it?"

"Yours." the petite adolescent answered, sticking his hand out at me.

Glancing back and forth from his outstretched limb to his cherub-like features, I drummed my fingers on my legs. A gift? From Bakura to me? What was it? Why did the emerald-eyed boy want to give me something? Reaching in front of myself, I hesitated in accepting my hikari's present.

"Go on," urged the young duelist, wiggling his hand. "take it. It's yours, you know."

"I've never gotten one of these before."

"One of what?" questioned the spiky-haired child, cocking his head to the side.

"A gift. I've never received one from anyone."

"Really?"

"Don't rub it in, mortal." I grumbled, glowering at him ferociously. "I'm not fond of taunting."

"Neither am I." stated the magenta-eyed adolescent, switching his weight to his other foot. "I'm just surprised that you've never had that chance."

"Whatever." I snapped, gritting my teeth in annoyance.

"But there's a first time for everything." grinned the tiny teenager, placing the object into my waiting palm.

A velvet box lay in my open hand, the white fabric gleaming in the remaining daylight. Tied securely to the container was a silver ribbon fashioned into a bow, resting on top of the material. Bringing the little package closer to myself, I noticed that a piece of paper was caught in the coils of the trimming.

Playing with the slip of stationary, I asked, "What is this?"

"A message from him to you." explained the spiky-haired boy, gazing at the container I held. "Feel free to read it."

"Have you already seen it?" 

"Nu-uh. I had specific instruction to leave it unopened. It's for your eyes only."

Finally, I gave in to my curiosity. "And how did you end up with my present, something that you couldn't open yourself?"

"Afraid of rejection, Bakura wanted me to bestow this to you on his birthday, which was--"

"The day he passed away." I finished, my vision dropping to the ground. "He was going to give me a gift on his own birthday."

Nodding sadly, the little child said, "He yearned for your happiness, Spirit. Ryou desired to help you achieve that much in your existence."

"Just how was he going to do such a thing?"

"By giving you that." he said, pointing to the box.

"How is a shred of cardboard supposed to show me the path to enlightenment?" 

"Read the letter, and it will all come together." promised Yugi, turning away from me.

"Wait!" I cried, jumping to my feet. "Where are you going?"

"Back home to Pharaoh." he said, walking down the dirt path to his automobile. "Besides, I probably need to leave you alone while you pour over that--"

"Stay with me."

Freezing in his tracks, the spiky-haired boy peered over his shoulder at me. "What?"

"I'd like you to be with me…at least until I'm finished viewing what Ryou wrote."

"You wish for me to remain with you?"

"Only if you aren't too busy."

"I don't know about that, since I--I--" glancing nervously at my visage, he straightened his clothes as his voice faded off into the distance.

Waving him off, I said, "It's okay, you can go…I know your boyfriend is waiting for you to return tonight."

"I didn't say I _couldn't_ hang around here--"

"You didn't say you could, either." I countered, fingering the string on the velvet container.

Biting his lower lip, the tiny teenager contemplated the situation before him. Sighing to himself, the magenta-eyed child thrust his hand in his coat once again. Moments later, he removed a little gray phone from his pocket. Flipping the technical device open, he dialed local number with a ready thumb. After several rings, a deep voice answered Yugi's call.

"Hello, sweetheart, it's me." I heard him say into the receiver, pacing back and forth as he carried out his conversation. Instantaneously, I knew his older counterpart was the one he was talking to. The tiny teenager was completely devoted to the master duelist, and he only used affectionate titles like the one he said previously to the love of his life. "I'm going to be a little late tonight, so don't leave without me. Yes, I know we've got a lot to do, but there's someone here who needs me right now…I just gave Ryou's millennium spirit the velvet box I've been holding for him. He wants me to stay with him while he reads the letter attached to it. No, I promise it won't be long. Alright, I'll be home as soon as possible. Kisses, darling." With a slight blush on his cheeks, the spiky-haired child added, "I love you, too, my precious fallen angel." Snapping the phone closed, he shoved the high-tech tool where he had it before. "I'm all yours now, Yami." smiled the tiny teen, strolling up to meet me once more.

Returning his grin with one of my own, I plucked the note off of the package. Yugi, who had seated himself right next to me, was eagerly waiting for me to unfold the letter. Using my nails to scrape off the tape binding the memo closed, I grew impatient. Cutting the constricting material off the sides of the letter, I threw the last section of it into a daisy patch behind us. With the note free of any sticky matter holding it shut, I sat on the brink of spreading it out before us. Exchanging an uneasy glance with the young duelist, I let my fingers pass over its smooth surface. Swallowing a hard lump down my throat, I toyed with the edges of the stationary I had in my grasp. I didn't know how I knew this, but, for some reason or another, I had the strangest feeling that my fate, my whole destiny, was outlined in the words of Ryou's letter. Something within the lines of my hikari's note would somehow alter my perception on life as I had come to understand it. In the end, my life was about to be changed forever…and there wasn't a thing I could do to stop it all from happening. Desperately needing to hear the voice of my deceased counterpart, I unraveled the sheet of stationary between the magenta-eyed boy and myself, aching to feel Bakura's presence.


	5. Angels Battling Demons

Chapter Five: Angels Battling Demons

Sucking in a deep breath, my heart and soul basked in the warmth of the emerald-eyed boy's insightful writing.

__

Dearest Spirit,

Please forgive me for not possessing enough bravery to approach you with what I have to say. I can only hope that you will open your heart to me a few minutes while I take the time to express my feelings…the same emotions that tear at my soul, wishing to be vocalized at some point or another. 

It has taken me months to come to terms with the thoughts I have about you, to actually accept them without immediately discarding them from my mind. The more I try to tell myself you just aren't interested in me, the more miserable I become. I can't deny the truth anymore…my heart won't let me. I can't lie to myself and pretend everything is fine, when in all reality, it isn't. Hiding my feelings doesn't work for me, either…I nearly lose control of my head.

Even the world of painting doesn't provide the solitude I seek from the emotions I have. As I sit in front of my canvas these days, attempting to create another picture, you steal my line of sight. All I can see is an image of you, blinding me from everyone and everything else around me. You are the only masterpiece I want to re-create and bring to life with my paintbrush, but I know in my soul that your radiance can never be duplicated. I could try to sculpt a picture of you in my sketchbook, but any drawing I do would pale in comparison to whatever my pencil produced. Your extravagance, your beauty…I can't describe to you how wonderful you are. My own literature fails to capture the sweet essence of your spirit, and no simile or metaphor in this realm could do you justice. Oh, sweet goddess of romance, save me…help me not to lose my mind in a raging sea of longing.

My bed feels so cold without you here tonight. The strings of my soul are painfully strummed every time you leave me alone. I fall victim to the demons of my brain, all they comfort me with is sneering faces and acerbic sentences. I'm bound and chained by them to my bed, lying naked and vulnerable to their abusive remarks. Through all their lies, I found at least one truth: I'm not as strong as I want to be, and I can't even save myself, much less some beautiful stranger that appeared out of no where on my doorstep. I won't lose hope, though, and I'll never be stripped of my faith. I may not be able to chase the hell's angels out of my head, but I can try to help someone else. The individual I choose to lend my wings to is you.

__

This letter is accompanied with far more than some velvet box with a ring inside. It represents something so precious, so utterly priceless, that no amount of money could ever be placed on it. The vows I make to you in this note surpass the value of any price tag and any extent of power that could be handed willingly to one individual alone. My silent angel that descended from on high, I wish to give you my wings so that I can see you fly once more. Let me free that saintly voice of yours so that I may join in your divine chorus. Allow me to dance with you in a never-ending waltz of eternity, where only the gods themselves would be there to proclaim our ever-lasting praises. Gorgeous spirit of my desire, I cannot refer to you as an object or item of some mad infatuation. I wish to have your fingers twined between mine so that I can gaze into your starlit orbs beneath the moon and distant planets. There is nothing I want more than to recite poetry to you as often as you would like, honoring you to the best of my ability with song-like phrases that I would later set to music. Just looking at you gives me the inspiration to compose luxurious works of art that no museum would be able to wrestle out of my grip. I'll cherish you like the delicate fairy you suppress inside of yourself, giving you the finest of everything you could ever imagine. 

My darling, my water nymph, the sunshine in my dark soul, the light of my life, my savior complete…you also can be the destroyer of my existence. You hold the magical capability of granting the first and only wish I'll ever ask of you, or you can vanquish my reason for living all together. And this is where I leave you, in the process of decision making. Please…give me the honor of treasuring you, of adoring you until I draw my final sigh on this plane. Heart, body, soul…all yours to keep. Or yours to conquer. I couldn't ask for a more exquisite birthday gift than to hold your hand in a charming cathedral, whispering the same three little words that I've been trying to develop the courage to communicate to you.

I love you.

Eternal Love, Peace, and Happiness,

Ryou Bakura

"It's all right, Yami." Yugi soothed, his eyes as watery as mine. Wrapping his little arms around me, he stroked my silver tresses gently. "Everything is going to be all right."

"He really did love me…" I choked between sniffles, holding onto the spiky-haired boy as hard as I could. "and I never knew it. I was so damned _clueless_! Why did I think he was just experiencing some obsessive fascination with me? Why couldn't I have been more receptive to his feelings?"

"I don't know." said the magenta-eyed teen, wiping the tears from my face. "Those are questions only you can answer at this point."

"Yes, I realize as much." I replied, staring at the grass below. Fiddling with the petals of a dandelion, I gazed up at the petite adolescent with dark shiny eyes.

"What is it, Spirit?" asked Yugi, studying the intensity of the look I was giving him. "You seem to have something on your mind."

"You're right, Little One, I do." I agreed, my glittering orbs focused solely on him.

He cocked his head to the side, a gesture to show me that he was interested in what I had to say.

"It's a confession."

"Oh, really?"

"Yes…I have to tell someone about it soon, or--" unable to complete my sentence, I let my voice trail off into the wind.

"Or what will happen, Spirit?" the magenta-eyed boy asked, lines of concern creasing his brow.

"You don't want to know, trust me on this one."

Regarding me coolly, the tiny teenager said, "Okay, I guess I'm just going to have to trust you. Whatever feels right to you, just do it."

Plucking one of the yellow petals from the flower I was playing with, I held it in front of my visage. "I've been completely intolerable to Ryou throughout my entire relationship with him. Every pathetic action you can name, I have been guilty of committing almost all of them against him. I've cut him, slapped him, beat him so _badly _that--that I--"a tear rolled down my cheek as I spoke, forcing me to lower my head. For moral support, Yugi placed his hand over mine and gave it a small squeeze. Flashing him a half-hearted grin, I found enough strength to continue my speech. "H--he was just like the flowers in this meadow…calm, sensitive, absolutely beautiful to behold in dawn's morning light. Bakura flourished only in the sunshine, a requirement that all pretty plants have to abide by so that they can maintain their flawless features. I could have sworn that he actually glowed in the springtime sun, like a sweet shining angel searching for his wings. A fallen angel, at that." I breathed while another large drop of water fell onto my skin. "The utter irony of it all…a child of heaven's sanctuary risking his life for someone that hell could not handle and cast out of its fiery pit." 

Losing control of my emotions, I let a mournful cry escape my lips. Falling onto the spiky-haired boy's lap, I covered my face with my hands as my body shuddered with sobs. Bakura's blood, tears, screams and sorrow gripped me with blinding pain, causing me to get a migraine headache. Everything on me hurt, from my throbbing head to my sore, cramping sides. As much as I didn't want to, I welcomed the misery, the feelings of worthlessness and total uselessness. I deserved to be labeled as such, since I had delivered similar mental and physical anguish to my harmless hikari. Attempting to console me in his loving embrace, the young duelist rocked me back and forth.

"There, there now. Don't dwell on what happened, Spirit." soothed Yugi, caressing the side of my visage. "Just relax where you are."

"Relax?!" I sniffed, looking at the magenta-eyed teen with blurred vision. "How can I just sit here and relax? I should be killing myself instead of allowing you to comfort me!"

"Don't say that." 

"Why not?"

"Because that isn't something Bakura would want to hear."

"I'm better off crucified, though." I insisted miserably, scratching my flesh with my nails.

Halting my self-mutilation efforts by grabbing my cat-like claws, Yugi tore my hand off of my arm. "I'm not going to sit and watch you destroy yourself today, Yami."

"Then get out of this place and leave me alone." I snapped, struggling out of the small boy's solid grip.

"Make me." said the petite adolescent defiantly, holding me to the dusty earth.

Glowering at him with dark crazed eyes, I remained sprawled on top of the soil. "How charming…a feisty version of the King of Games himself. Are you introducing me to one of your boyfriend's bedtime games, or did you think of this one all by yourself?"

Gritting his teeth in a feral fashion, the magenta-eyed teen raised one of his hands at me. In a terrible fit of rage, he struck me with an open palm. Stunned into submission, I felt the heat in my face rise, one of my cheeks was burning from where the high school boy hit me. Staring at me in icy anger, the spiky-haired child kept his canine teeth bared, equipped to attack me if I made any sudden movements.

"Ready to listen yet, or am I going to have to deal with you the hard way?" said Yugi, his tone as venomous as a pit viper's disposition. 

I nodded my head, too dazed to make a sound.

"Good. Just because you're pissed at yourself for screwing up too many times doesn't give you the right to trash someone else's reputation. Pharaoh is not only my lover, but my best friend, too. He has never failed me and will always stand by my side, no matter what. You had the perfect opportunity to have the same for yourself, but you threw it away because you were too damned stupid to cherish what was right in front of your nose. Ryou practically gave you every waking moment of his teenage life in an attempt to try to make you happy. While Joey and Seto insulted you with names I never want to hear again, Bakura constantly stuck up for you. When you sent him to the hospital looking like a voodoo doll, he covered for you by faking a smile and suppressing his tears. Everyone knew the truth about what was going on between the both of you, but your hikari denied it by blatantly lying to us just to save your sorry ass from hard time in prison. And how did you repay him?" 

Biting down on my lower lip, I kept my mouth shut. 

"That's right, you repaid him with the cold shoulder." spat the little adolescent, his hot breath scalding my flesh. "You did things to him that even the most horrible gods of the underworld would never even dream of doing. And why did you do it? Because you're afraid, Yami. You're so freaking scared that there was someone on this plane who wanted to get close to you and get to know you. I don't know what universe you're functioning in, but this is the real world. You can't close yourself off in your own separate realm and expect everyone around you to not give a damn. This is life, Spirit, and you can do one of two things: you can live it, or spend your whole existence hiding behind elaborate stations in your mind and regret how you ended up being a solitary desert hermit. The choice is yours."

With that much said, the tiny teenager let go of my wrists. Rubbing my sore skin with a couple of my fingertips, I mulled over his harsh speech. I wanted to shout at him that everything he had just stated was completely wrong and that it was a lie, but I couldn't. He was as accurate as Bakura had been that rainy night in December, his words were painful enough to give me whiplash. Moving into an upright position, I studied the light and dark hues in the sky. Even the heavens themselves seemed to be in a great battle, fluffy pink and orange clouds clashed with the ever-elusive depths of midnight. Lucifer and God were waging war against each other once more, fighting for the right to claim the atmosphere surrounding us. 

"Are you phasing out on me?" asked Yugi, perplexed by my change in behavior.

"No, I'm just thinking." I replied, my head turned towards the direction of the sky.

"About?"

"Heaven and hell."

"Anything in specific?"

Shrugging indifferently, I replied, "Not really. I was idly wondering whether or not God gave Ryou his wings yet, or if the carefree child has been appointed to be someone's guardian angel."

Giving me a tender smile, the spiky-haired boy said, "You already know the answer to that one." Picking himself off the ground, he added, "I like to imagine that he's here with us right now, watching over us as we speak."

Nodding my assent, I accepted the offer of his extended limb. "I believe so, too. He must be the reason this pasture is absolutely remarkable. Only Bakura could help a field of flowers to be as radiant as this."

"It must be a reflection of his personality, then." agreed the magenta-eyed teen, pulling back one of his shirt sleeves. Underneath the starched material lay a hand watch that appeared to be a quartz crystal model. Turning on the night-light of the accessory, he read the time it displayed. "Oh, sweet Goddess Isis, it's pushing six o'clock! I better go!"

"Why? What's the rush?"

"Um, Seto's birthday celebration is at eight, and me and my boyfriend are going to go buy him something." smiled the spiky-haired child, flicking his watch off.

"Really?" 

"Yep. Jounouchi, Tea, and Mai are going to be there, too. Me and Pharaoh did the planning for this get-together, and we sent out the invitations a week ago."

"Do you have any last-minute decorations you need to set up or anything? I mean, if you have all the help you need, then that's fine, too--"

"You wanna come with?" Yugi suddenly asked, plucking his car keys from his pocket.

"What did you say?"

"You wouldn't inquire about the whole thing if you didn't want to attend." explained the petite adolescent, checking his phone for recent messages. "If you'd like to go, I'd be more than happy to take you there."

"Are you sure it's okay with everyone?" I questioned him, my expression nervous and anxiety-ridden. "I don't want to wreck a perfectly good evening--"

"Do you plan to?"

"Well, no--"

"Then it's settled." declared the small teenager, snapping his cell closed. "Both of us will go shopping together with Pharaoh and meet the rest of the gang at Kaiba's mansion. Sound good to you?"

"It's the best news I've heard in a while." I replied, a little grin tugging at the corners of my mouth.

"Same here." agreed Yugi, running down the dirt path to get to his automobile. "Let's get a move on, or my lover's gonna serve me as a main course instead of the boiled lobsters he imported from Italy."

Laughing at his remark, I quickly followed after him. In the distance, I heard the cry of a bird echo through the pasture. Furrowing my brow in confusion, I peered over my shoulder at Ryou's resting place. There, perched atop the silver granite of Bakura's burial chamber, resided a rare animal I had not seen since my hikari was playing outside with it. 

"No, it can't be…"I breathed in surprise as my eyes widened to an enormous degree. "I haven't seen that bird since--since my counterpart perished."

Turning back around, I approached the creature slowly as I regarded it with a steely gaze. As soon as I neared the winged being, it ruffled its feathers at me and began to dance awkwardly on the stony surface it stood on.

"If you don't recognize me, then you must not be who I thought you were." I sighed wistfully, kicking a rock off of my other half's tomb. 

Before I could watch the stone roll into another portion of the field, the bird cawed at me. Facing the creature once again, I held my hand out, attempting to pet it. Without warning, the brilliant bird flew straight up from its location on Bakura's grave and landed on my arm. Taken aback by the winged being's bizarre behavior, I stood in silent shock. What did this thing want with me? And just what in all the names of the gods was it doing in this area? Almost as if it could read my thoughts, the creature opened its beak over my hand. A silver wedding band dropped onto my waiting palm, the cold metal of the piece of jewelry sent small shivers up my back. Narrowing my eyes, I scooped up the ring with my middle finger. It was a perfect fit, for the band slid right into place on my skin. For some reason, I had unintentionally waylaid the piece of jewelry during my visit to the cemetery here with Yugi.

Smiling sadly at the bird, I held my hand up for it to see my new accessory. "Thanks, I couldn't have left without this."

Cawing at me once more, the winged being flew back to its lonely post on my hikari's sepulcher. It ruffled its feathers again, this time in a more proud and distinguished manner.

"Are you going to watch over Ryou as he sleeps here?" I asked with a hint of a grin returning to my lips. "That will be a severely isolated task, so you might want to find somewhere else to go and someone to be with."

Without heeding my advice, the determined creature remained where it was.

"Oh, well. It's your call, so do what you want." I said, turning away from it. "You have my hikari's spirit, so you'll roam wherever your wings will carry you."

As I started off through the flora and fauna to catch up with the magenta-eyed boy, I paused in mid-step. A single question was still wearing on my mind, aching to be vocalized. 

Spinning on my heel to see the bird, I asked, "Tell me, dear friend…does Ryou have his wings yet?"

Looking at me with gold streaked orbs, the winged being straightened. Spreading its wings out for me to see, the bird floated above Bakura's burial place.

Smiling for the first time in complete happiness, I said, "That's what I hoped for."

At the edge of the cemetery, a car horn blared. "Come on, Yami!" called Yugi at the top of his lungs, revving up the engine of his Honda Prelude. "We gotta go or we're gonna miss the arrival of all the good junk food!"

"All right, I'm coming!" I cried, my voice reverberating through the flower-filled clearing.

Placing a straight hand at my brow, I snapped a salute at the messenger between the land of the living and the realm of the dead before I ran off in the direction of the sunset.

__

/In the love that we have made before time./

__


	6. A Child of Heaven's Sanctuary

~Epilogue~

A Child of Heaven's Sanctuary

"Koi…" I murmured, stroking the ring on my hand with a trembling finger.

Holding the silver band up towards the lamplight, the piece of jewelry glittered like the bright side of a full moon. My beautiful cherry blossom, Ryou Bakura, gave me the trinket so that I would never forget him and hold sacred all the times we had spent together. Throughout the span of his and my relationship, we had shared both good and bad occasions and felt every kind of emotion that was humanly possible. No matter how hateful, despicable, or tremendously wicked my behavior and actions were when I was in the presence of my hikari, he always found it in his heart to forgive me. Through the blood and rivers of sadness, the silvery-haired child still begged me to do one simple little thing for him, but I turned my back on his pathetic pleas. Now, in the soft glow of my bedroom, I discovered that I was reduced to the same hapless state that my young counterpart had been in before.

Gazing at the ring with huge shiny eyes, I whispered, "Please, let me do what you've always asked me to do…let me love you."

A single drop of water eased itself down my cheek, slipping over my flesh in slow motion. Feeling a large amount of liquid build beneath my lids, I tried to hold them back by taking a deep breath. The intake of oxygen was weary, cold, and shallow. Seeing that my efforts of keeping myself from crying were in total vain, I closed my eyes. That single movement triggered an on-going rush of sorrow, for twin streams of tears flowed across my skin. Underneath the layers of comforters and sheets on my mattress, my body shivered violently. I felt so frozen, so horribly chilled to the bone that I curled up into a fetal position and wrapped my arms around myself. Nothing would ever be able to strip me of the pain of what I did to my high school equivalent, not even freezing to death in my own bed while basking in the icy quality of my tears. 

Hoping that my words could somehow be lifted to the heavens so that my hikari could listen to them, I whimpered, "Ryou-chan, whether you are singing in God's choir at the moment or are using the clouds as trampolines, know this…aishiteru, my ravishing rainbow chaser,_ aishiteru_."

All of a sudden, I discovered that my eyes were having trouble re-opening themselves. They fluttered at my commands, attempting to stay awake in a sleepless daze. Shaking my head sharply, I tried to ward off the enchanting bliss that silent slumber was offering to me, but my slender frame refused to budge. Greatly sighing, I allowed my lean structure to slump against the softness of the mattress. Completely exhausted and overwhelmed by everything that had transpired today, I finally admitted to myself that my body needed some rest. Everything seemed to hurt or scream in pain, for I winced at the throbbing sensation forming around the sides of my head. Touching the metal band at the base of my finger, I drifted to the realm of dreams with the phrase "I love you" endlessly being mouthed by my lips.

****Dream Sequence****

A brilliant flash of light brought me into a semi-conscious position, lifting my lids up to expose my tired eyes. Stifling a yawn, I pulled my arms over my head and gave my muscles a good, long stretch. When I had dispelled the soreness from my aching limbs, I let them flop down into my lap. 

__

/How can I possibly be up right now? / I wondered, raking my fingers through my lengthy silver tresses. _/I'm so drained and worn out…how can this be? / _

Answering my inquisitive thought process, a voice replied softly, "In the dimension in which you are residing now, _anything_ can happen." 

Creasing my brow in confusion, the bells of familiarity rang loudly in my mind. There was something so soothing, so positively serene about the tone of the voice that had reached my ears, but I immediately dismissed my first guess as to who it was. Besides, I knew I hadn't fully recovered from the events that transpired this evening, so my brain was probably playing tricks on itself. Everyone has different coping devices, procedures that are learned by us to prevent losing our senses to whatever strong emotions we may be feeling at the time. Ultimately, the best strategy I had developed in handling sensitive situations was cutting off the valve of emotions from my heart to my head. That way, my ego could never be broken into, and I could stay tucked away in a snug little nest of my own thoughts that were kept private from everyone else.

"Don't do this…" begged the voice, still calm in its sound. "I don't want to see you plummet into a sea of nightmares again. You can only dwell in the miserable depths of despair for so long before you drown and hit rock bottom. The devils pounding the keyboard of your heart force you to be out of tune with yourself, Yami. They want you to think there's no alternative to their morbid music, to make you deaf to those who love and care for you the most…especially a child of heaven's sanctuary."

One by one, elegant fingertips traced my flesh, caressing the fine bone structure on my visage. My heart began to ache with indescribable longing, controlling my mind with amorous desire. Quivering lips of mine attempted to form words, but my voice box refused to cooperate. I was trapped again; my head and heart had declared war on each other just to satisfy their own selfish needs. The battle lines were being drawn in the sand, with emotions on one side, and logic on the other. It was a fight between the key points of what was reasonable and what was irrational, an all-out collision course of the icy blade of reality sparring with the fiery sword of romantic fantasy. While the two ageless rivals traded blows with one another on the landscape of my mind, I watched helplessly from a cage above their killing grounds. Eventually, when the last weapon was swung and one of the two adversaries proclaimed themselves the victor, I would be handed over to them. "Happy mediums," as people sometimes referred to when discussing their daily rituals, was a state of balance that seemed unachievable to me. This soul of mine has never experienced the privilege of a dynamic equilibrium, a set standard of living that would keep my thoughts and feelings in check. 

In the prime of my youth, I was an emotional wreck, so completely sensitive that I never went a day without having tears in my eyes. Functioning solely off of whatever my heart poured out, I was easily beat into submission by almost everyone around me. Lacking the courage and skill to challenge those that made my life seem worthless, I scurried off into the solitude of the shadows. Within time, I had detached myself from society altogether, regarding humans as nasty beings similar to the locusts that destroy the very flowers of this Earth. Everything that was beautiful and pure had turned hideous and badly tainted when people had anything to do with the scenario, treading upon this planet like viruses in search of an innocent host. 

Clasping my pulsing forehead with a shaky hand, I finally said, "A celestial being such as yourself shouldn't risk your wings for something like me. Nothing's worth the curse of eternal damnation."

Thin, satiny fingers wrapped themselves across the length of my jaw, tenderly holding my head in their grasp. Gently pushing my body backwards, the angel guided me into a sitting position that had my back slightly arched. Lowering himself to where I was, the ethereal individual knelt in front of me, never taking his eyes away from my visage. Soft emerald orbs gazed at me, reflecting my hopes, dreams, and all other mystical qualities that were in between. Silvery strands of his hair flowed down his back, shining with an iridescent glow that even surpassed that of the constellations in the midnight sky. Brilliant robes of pastel shades adorned his flesh, a model of attire of which the likes I had never seen before. The garments somehow displayed his vibrant personality with the way it accented his curves, the many waves of the clothes symbolizing his ability to always flow and change while letting his spirit be free. 

Speaking to me in his usual soft-spoken tone, the small child stated, "Love will always be worth more to me than the threat of hell."

"Do you really think that?" I asked, focusing on every word he vocalized. "You are only a teenager still, so can you honestly believe your feelings for me can be none other than love itself?"

Moving his head up and down, the angel disposed of my nagging doubts. "I don't just _think_ I love you, I _know_ I love you. Believing in something, actually having faith about it, gives you goals and objectives to strive for. What makes beliefs so powerful is the fact that they become the foundation of your temple, the system in which you live out your existence by. If you don't have trust in yourself, then no one else will have much confidence in what you say or do, either. I wish I could give you my faith, but it can't be done that way...it shouldn't have to be done that way. You are the only one that can choose between remaining captive behind iron bars of a cage, or breaking free from your old habits and returning my affection." A special smile played with the corners of his mouth as a rosy blush lit up his cheeks. "Don't surrender your soul to the evil spirits inside of you just yet. I have an immeasurable amount of faith in you, Yami…please don't make me regret that."

Staring at him with wild eyes, I disappeared into the corridors of my head once more. Now I knew what needed to be done--the consequences of allowing this chaos to continue were too high. I just couldn't let this angel, this saint of a being slip through my arms again. Drawing on a wealth of bravery I didn't even know my soul possessed, I placed my hand on the rusted metal box that my common sense and emotions had shut me inside of. As soon as I had made contact with the prison-like rods, they shattered beneath my fingertips. It was like some amazing optical illusion, the metallic poles crumbling to dust as if they were nothing but glass in disguise. Both my logic and my feelings had ceased their fighting, the two enemies facing me with interest and intrigue. Throwing their weapons of destruction aside, they waited to see what my next move would be.

Taking the little angel's hand in my own, I whispered the affirmation I had always wanted to tell him. "_Aishiteru, Ryou-chan._"

His bright green eyes filled themselves to the brim with tears, and I could hear him chant a tiny devotional of thanks to his maker for showing me the light. Unable to watch him come even remotely close to losing his composure, I felt myself turn on the water works as well. A large degree of liquid began to form at the base of my lids, the tears grouping together with themselves to grow into miniature lakes. 

Flashing me a small grin, Bakura soothed, "Don't cry, Spirit…you'll make _me_ do the same."

"But I want to."

Puzzled, the celestial being questioned my rationale. "Why? Did I upset you?"

Shaking my head, I chuckled quietly. "No, that's not it. Actually, you've made me very happy. Matter of fact, I have obtained such an incredible feeling of euphoria in your presence that the only way I can express my joy is through tears."

Pressing the back of his hand to his mouth, the tiny child sniffled. Knowing that the raindrops from his eyes would start pouring down at any given moment, I swept him up in an unbreakable embrace. Gratefully accepting the gesture of kindness, he threw his arms around my neck. Our cheeks connected with one another's, the rivers of ecstasy mixing together in shimmering streaks. At that moment, I could feel his pain and pleasure, the strong craving to hold me and never let me go. Ryou is my one and only, for he is the dream that constantly fills my head on a bed of roses, waiting just for me.

Gliding his tapered fingertips through my chrome-colored tresses, Bakura said, "I love you, my friend."

"I know." I replied, my vision clearing up from the rush of emotion. "I love you, too, my gorgeous guardian."

Smiling widely, the young child flicked some excess liquid drops off of his visage. Desperate to return the favor to him from long ago, I caught his arm by the wrist.

"This time let _me_ be the one to help…it's only fair that I do that much for you."

Touched by my sincerity, my high school equivalent watched attentively as I cupped the side of his face with my hand. Exchanging a light-hearted grin with him, I closed my eyes and brought my lips to his cheek. Methodically caressing his skin with my mouth, I picked up the last of his tears in one long, drawn out movement. After I had finished drying his visage, I left a sweet kiss upon each of his cheeks. Stunned, the green-eyed angel reddened passively at me, his emerald orbs glittering with the bliss of romance. 

We were both starry-eyed by now, gazing into the windows of one another's souls with passionate intentions. Ryou's heavenly spirit had finally intertwined with the dark aspects of mine, creating a bold new relationship where innocence and chaos could thrive together in harmony. I accomplished the stability I had wanted from when I was an adolescent myself, a little child struggling to be left alone by the hate and discontent in every civilization. 

"Arigato, Spirit…your generosity is well appreciated and shall be held sacred in my heart for all time." the silvery-haired cherub thanked me as he exhibited a most radiant smile. 

"I hope that I can always be there to share in your happiness," I answered, gazing into his green orbs with pristine feelings of total adoration, "as well as your sadness and hours of darkness. Permit me to hold the honor of flying with you in moments of contentment and kissing your tears off your face when you're lost in the horror of the shade."

"Of course I will want to have you by my side from now until the end of eternity, you have my word on that one. Just name the manner in which I can repay you for your benevolence."

"Well, you could stop applying impersonal titles to me now that we're together." I suggested, seeking to break the bounds of being referred to as just some wandering entity bouncing back and forth between the plains of existence. 

"Gomen nasai!" apologized the little child quickly, the hurt returning to his star-lit spheres. "Ever since we came into contact with each other, you never told me your real name. Since I was too afraid to inquire about your whereabouts or background, I decided to leave you alone instead of interrogate you, and--"

"And that's all in the past, Hikari." I finished, mercifully putting an end to his guilt trip. "Don't worry about any of that now. We can start fresh, with no regrets, no remorse, and, best of all, no looking back."

Inhaling deeply, Bakura repeated after me. "Right…no looking back."

"Think you can do that?"

He exhaled, dispelling the oxygen from his lungs as if it was all the awful episodes from when he dwelled on earth. "Hai…I believe that is possible."

Giving him a satisfied grin, I said, "That's great. Maybe we can move on to other matters of business instead of bringing up what we can't change."

A ghost of a smile brightened the small teenager's visage. "So what is it that you wish of me?"

"Provide me with a name."

Blinking in bewilderment, the green-eyed boy asked, "Is that it? Is that all you want me to do for you, bestow upon you a label?" After seeing my head bob up and down, he bowed his head. "I'm not sure how to handle this one, Ya--I mean, uh, um--"

"Can you not do that much for me?"

"It's not that I don't _want_ to, it's just that I don't know _how_ to." admitted the tiny angel, his visage taking on a rosy hue all over again. "Forgive me, I have never done this before."

"Just call me what you have always wanted to."

"Would you mind having that name for as long as we are one?"

Grasping his face with my hands, I claimed his mouth with my own. His delicate lips pressed against mine, offering me the sweetest taste I have ever tried. Ryou and I basked in the heavy air of passion, feasting on each other's intake of air, the flavor of our skin, and the scent of our bodies. The level of intimacy had escalated to an inescapable degree, capturing us in its sizzling tides. Bakura was at the center of my simmering thoughts, like a hot springs with depths I sought to penetrate. Sliding my fingers through his waterfall of snowy tresses, I disconnected my countenance from his.

"That single title shall become our bond." I affirmed, winded from our heated interaction.

Breathing heavily himself, the celestial being replied, "Then I guess that settles it…you'll be known by the name I have dreamed so long of calling you." Catching his breath, the little child's loving stare seized my line of sight, clasping my full attention. "My sun, my moon, my stars in the sky, may you always light my path in the night so I can return to your side. I couldn't conjure up a better lover than you, and I truly believe I have dreamed you into life. Once you were a mysterious walk of life, then you became a best friend of mine, and finally, you are none other than the one I have devoted myself to for every year to come. At long last, I can live on and have your affection to accompany me. Koibito…as you would like to be identified as, heaven lacks perfection without your essence there."

"Ryou-chan, I love that name." I breathed, feeling the tenderness of his speech in my soul. "Say it again, please."

Obliging me with a sensational smile, Ryou situated his mouth close to my ear. "Aishiteru, _Koibito_."

Twining his dainty fingers around mine, I rubbed my cheek against the back of his hand. "Thank-you for everything, but I wish that I wouldn't have prevented you from receiving your wings…if anyone deserves them more than you, I haven't met them yet."

"For one thing to live, another thing must often be sacrificed." stated Bakura, exchanging a wistful look with me. "This holds true for everyone: from primitive creatures contending with the idea of survival of the fittest to Sigmund Freud's concept of the human psyche. Some animals must die in order for others to carry on, and people must stop being overly selfish so that the society they reside in can flourish."

"So much for God being so loving and just." I snorted while staring off into the vastness of space. "I think bringing a sociopath back from ever-lasting death should count for _something_."

"Oh, it does, Koibito…you just haven't seen it yet."

"What? What do you mean by tha--"

Before I could complete my sentence, the green-eyed boy slowly got to his feet. From out of nowhere, a summer-like wind kicked up, blowing my extensive white locks behind me. Almost as if he had cast a spell to summon the air-based element, the breeze swirled around Ryou's petite frame in great gusts. Crossing his arms over his chest, the celestial being closed his eyes and lowered his head. He wore an expression of complete peace; his features as calm and relaxed as a spiritually enlightened individual. In the mists of the self-created funnel cloud, two shining wings appeared on his back. Feathers as pure as a newborn's innocence floated through the air, brushing past my disbelieving eyes. When his magnificent wings had fully come into view, he raised his head and opened his eyes at the same time. The wind had come and gone, leaving a sparkling angel in its wake. 

"How…?" was all I seemed to be capable of vocalizing, staring at him in wide-eyed shock.

"I live in heaven, and all denizens of Eden have wings." answered the green-eyed adolescent simply. "Everyone who exists in eternal paradise is an angel."

"You're absolutely breathtaking." I complimented him, quite taken with the new edition to his physical features. "I've never laid eyes upon anyone more striking."

Burying his chin in his upper body, the little angel's visage went a deep shade of scarlet. "I suppose it is a nice improvement, ne?"

"You'll always be beautiful to me, with or without the wings."

Nodding his assent, Ryou gave me his one-of-a-kind special smile. Stretching the feathery attachments on his shoulder blades, he walked towards me while straightening his clothes. Sliding down onto his knees, he gathered me up in his slender arms and placed me on his lap. Pleased with the arrangement, I snuggled with my lover, resting my head in a comfortable spot by his neck. 

__

/Ah, my angel…/ I thought happily, sighing with satisfaction. _/My own personal angel. I love you so, and I'm never going to let you go. /_

Caressing the contours of my face, Bakura inquired, "Is their anything more I can do for you, Koibito?" 

Yawning sleepily, I replied, "Sing to me…sing me a song."

"What would you like?" 

"Anything," I murmured, feeling the weight of my eyelids grow heavier, "just sing to me."

Removing a few strands of hair from my visage, the adorable angel tucked them behind an ear of mine. Spreading his wings out to his sides, he encircled me within his angelic graces. They resembled a great, cozy blanket, sheltering me from the ills of the world. Filling his lungs with an intense supply of oxygen, he granted my request by performing for me an enigmatic ballad that spoke of an enchanted love before time. 

__

~Owari

*End Note: Though this story was painful to write at times, I knew that it was necessary to document and post it before the idea to compose it escaped me. I believe we have all been in the main character's position at one moment or another in our lives, reflecting on the events that would have come to pass if we wouldn't have taken for granted another's affection for us. Fortunately, I was able to get a hold of myself before it was too late. I almost made the mistake of a lifetime: dismissing the love of someone close to me because I had been preoccupied with a sociopath that used me. Thankfully, I began to understand that my present relationship is far better than trying to resurrect some sort of haphazard bond with my previous lover. The truth does hurt, but lies always seem to sting worse. While dishonesty forces you to dwell on past occurrences, truth provides an avenue for someone to pick up the pieces of their existence and move on. Readers, I leave you with these last bits of advice: 

1. If you are only telling someone you love him or her to preserve his or her feelings, you are doing that person a horrible disservice. Deceit only breeds hatred and low self-esteem, so always be truthful in your personal encounters. 

2. Relationships require a great deal of trust, integrity, and communication. If any of these three basic elements are not present with whoever you are involved with now, you either have some issues to work out with them or you need to find someone who treats you like you deserve to be treated.

3. You can't consider yourself a good boyfriend/girlfriend if you aren't giving everything you can to your partner. When working with matters of the heart, it can't be all one-sided. Breaking up with your lover is a more humane thing to do than taking their affection for granted. If you aren't ready to commit to a single individual and bond with them physically, emotionally, and spiritually, I highly suggest you sort out what you desire in a mate first before you start dating. That prevents less heartache and despair for someone who might really care for you. They may not like it very much that you have no idea what you want at the moment, but at least they can respect you for your truthfulness. 

One last thing: This fan fiction's romantic language would not have been possible without the aid of my current boyfriend. Verti-chan, my child of heaven's sanctuary, it is because of you that my characters were able to vocalize such sentimental thoughts. Without your constant compliments, faith, and trust in me, I would have never imagined such an amorous tale could have ever been invented by the likes of me. So, _domo arigato_, my "nymph of a necromancer," for you have succeeded in bringing me back from the realm of the dead. Vertigo, "my one and only," you truly are a magical individual…don't let anyone tell you differently. 

~Until next time, ja ne! -^_^-


End file.
